Breaking the Cycle: Overcoming Family and Generational Trauma, Being Emotionally Sensitive, and Leading by Example
“[Our parents] were doing a lot of the first in their generation. And when you were doing the first, there's a lot of survival. You're just scrapping. You don't have the time or the luxury to think about mental health or the luxury to think about emotional health. But that does not negate the lack of presence in the home where it's okay to feel your emotions and talk about your needs and wants— it doesn't negate that [it] doesn't still hurt, it still doesn't impact us. It still doesn't take away the fact that it caused trauma. So I think the balanced way to look at it is, yes, this is what happened. Have grace and mercy for our families and our parents, but do not take away from what we experienced.”
— Fatima
Have you ever felt misunderstood as being overly emotional at times, when really, you're simply more sensitive and aware of the people around you? You may be the one in your family who "feels all the feelings."
Join us in this conversation as we discuss the complexities of family dynamics and patriarchal cultures, how to confront and break the cycles of generational trauma, the impact of family on identity and belonging, and how to trust in God while leading by example.
Enjoy!
Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube, and Amazon Music.
References from this episode
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction: Parentification and Family Dynamics
02:26 The Impact of Parentification and Generational Trauma
05:24 Sharing Personal Stories of Family and Identity
09:57 Understanding Emotions and Mental Health in Families
23:07 Setting Boundaries for Healthier Family Relationships
27:15 Lessons Learned: Healing, Gratitude, and Moving Forward
Quotes from this episode
“I was the person who saw the generational curses, and I raised my hand to be the one to, to heal our family. And so there's still a lot more to be worked on in our family, but I feel like with my children, I'm trying my best to face the pain, to advocate and be an example of going to therapy. As I learn things, I share it with them, but I think the thing that I do the most that I'm proud of is, they see me turning to God. They see how I focus on God to get through the hard times. And I trust in God that he has a plan and that I was put here for a reason. And I'm convicted about that reason and my purpose. So, even though it's tough, I'm grateful that he gave me the sensitivity and he gave me the experiences that I've had.”
— Fatima
“Maybe at that age I didn't recognize what it was exactly but I knew that something was wrong. Something was broken and I think you could see that as like a curse, but I think it's a gift to be able to— like you said, turn around and change the spaces that you create when you make your own home, when you have your own kids. You can make a different space and a safe space and a space that allows for [expressing] emotion.”
— Grace
“Think about the people in your life who look down on emotions and think about how much they really live their lives based off of emotions that they don't express, and then primarily coming from fear.”
— Fatima
“Ultimately if you don't help yourself first and if you don't make sure you're good, you can't help anybody. So I think you can be an agent of change and healing for your family, but you need to make sure that you're good first.”
— Grace
